There’s an evolution to every photographer’s work, and inevitably perhaps we all start off making rubbish photos. Maybe not rubbish observations, but lack the eye or skill to make the photo the best it could be. I have no idea why I missed this shot among the ones I’d taken in Pontneddfechan last September, but I saw the potential again when riffling through old shots (a library gaining mammoth proportions, mostly from neglect I hasten to add, and I dread the task of ridding my drive of all the crappy shots).

I’d clearly done some post-processing on this, and the original shot by the camera didn’t quite get the white balance right, but my effort at correcting is was just as awful. I suppose that’s a cross you have to bear, but thankfully when I readjusted this shot anew I was really surprised that I could get it right almost immediately and that it was really a shot I could be proud of. Gaining a natural look in my photos is something I’m coming home to – post processing is ok in small proportions I’ve learned, better still not to have to do much to the photo. I’ll still make mistakes but that’s why I do this.

It’s probably about time I head off to these falls again, as there’s still some places I’ve not yet been to and discovered. There are lots of shots on flickr of these falls for obvious reasons, and when I go next my aim will be to try capture something as unique as this one.  The last time I was there in March spring had not yet come, and it was barren, so many of my attempts at shooting came off looking drab and uninspired; another point to keep  in mind for all seasons is to shoot with awareness and not with finality over getting the shot you’d hoped for.

I post a lot more photos up these days on flickr, and while some of them will still be disasters or increasingly as I’ve noticed, rather samey, I like positing there to try and keep a momentum going with my photography.

Yep, it’s nice catchy title, but I’m being obtuse. As you’ll see, the fags are cigarettes, and the bitches, well they’re not bitches at all – really more like witches, and that’s about addictions and rituals stuff.. spells over you bla bla. So ok, I fiddled the title to win your love.

Let me get to the point….

I’m less than 24days away from a whole 12 months off cigarettes. For anyone who looks to free themselves of the insidious effects of cigarette smoking, there are typical known short term challenges, and long-term ones not so often discussed.

The obvious cravings, irritability, etc, kick in within a few hours, but the long term effects remain largely unknown -once the initial and more obvious hurdles are over, people seem to think that’s it. No way, did you really think so? Well, in honesty it came as a surprise to me too.

Part of kicking the habit is the ritual, and the other part is the comfort. As someone who quit and is approaching their year anniversary, this is my analysis. A tale of fags, bitches and witches indeed (well, it had to fit on one line).

Building the Ritual

The reasons why someone smokes are complex and certainly change over time, reflecting the varying stages of addiction. When younger, the impetus to smoke can be a range of superfluous factors, however addiction subsequently arises when the focus for smoking changes from external factors to personal internal ones.

Over a period of smoking tobacco casually, the person learns to use tobacco in ways which become ritual. It is at this stage that the physical and psychological attachment begins. A fag before breakfast. Before arriving at work, for a break, for lunch, before a meeting, and so on. It has been suggested by other psychoanalysts that smoking becomes an emotional crutch, something to lean on that helps us cope.

It’s no surprise then that it’s removing or replacing the crutch which poses the biggest hurdle, not kicking the addictive nicotine.

Quitter

Anyone facing the challenge of quitting fags must face down all psychological and physiological cravings. These are ‘prompts’ from ingrained ritualistic use, and must be unlearned and life de-ritualised.

You can might make it past the hard stress of physiological withdrawal of a few hours with determination. You can make it through a few days, but  that  cup of coffee, that place, that specific time you always smoked, – all these will continuously trigger the ritual in the months ahead.

And don’t forget, your crutch is gone too, and you have to walk the minefield alone. I’ll tell you this also; the absence of that old comfort will cause severe emotional disorientation.  It isn’t a happy place; It’s like a bully came along and stole your puppy right from your arms and won’t give it back.

A very probable reason then why so many people return to smoking having only managed to refrain for a short period.

On a low gun run

Over the course of several months, the initial addictive/ritual phase gives way. You’re no longer reminded of the old need for the crutch day-to-day. You successfully de-ritualise your everyday experience, but what psychological effect does this have in the long term? The absence is not so immediate anymore, but the psychological power you once gave over to the ritual still needs fulfilling.

Sometimes it will get tough, that’s life. It’s doubly tough because you can’t rely on things you had to get you through; the easiest crutch will always be smoking again. The cravings may not be there, but their absence in times of crisis causes behavioural changes which can be equally difficult to deal with.

Witches & Bitches…

From my own experience, I found that during those crisis moments I stopped being the relaxed centered personality I knew, and instead became agitated, restless, angry, snappy, selfish, withdrawn. Like a spell had been put on me.

I dived to the bottom of an endless sea of need, searching for a pearl that I thought I could see, just a few feet in front of me. I grasped for it, but could never reach; everything else was discarded in the grasping.

Unable to see the bigger picture; I didn’t have anything to lean on, or comfort me. I was like an animal without an escape. It wasn’t fun. Certain things that occurred –sometimes but not always beyond my control- that didn’t make things any better, probably worse, but those really are tales for another time.

Ending the void

To move past the initial phase and make it through the long run takes self-discipline. Motivation is short lived. That’s getting started, self discipline  takes a commitment to changing your life not for one reason alone (health, money, etc) but as the reason. Ironically, its just like a ritual.

My only tip to quitters on the matter of overcoming the void left behind once smoking is gone, is to fill the new space with something active. To take your mind away, and all the better if it helps improve your health. Mine happened to be Tai Chi (Taiji Chuan) and the Martial Arts. Learning something new is fun, and this is your best bet at learning to walk without the crutch again. You can’t use it always, but you have something there in the background to work with.

Eventually, even the long run gets easier, and you re-center yourself, adjust, re-awaken from a dark dream, and you’re once again ready to shine.

That’s what the case was with John Brown’s Body. A band which I completely overlooked the first time I put their tunes on (via Spotify). I found them because their counterpart musical outfit are much more notoriously well known, probably not owing too much to their moniker 10 ft Ganja Plant, but instead their music which is rooted in re-creating original Reggae sounds.

There’s one thing which distinguishes John Brown’s body from 10 ft Ganja Plant, and that’s their progressive ‘Future Roots’ sound. Amplify then, is already one step in the past, and one in the future. That band-members have earned their stripes as Reggae all-stars via 10ft is one reason why I believe JBB succeeds in creating a very fresh, vibrant new Reggae sound. Unfettered by the need to re-create that obvious thread to the past, Amplify brings the instruments of that sound and out comes a forceful, upbeat, conscious and musically re-mixed sound. They call it ‘Future Roots’.

If I was to recommend just a few tracks as a taster, my faves would be:

• Amplify: Upbeat, almost latin-esq rhythym.
• Give Yourself Over: Inspiring and conscious sound
• Push Some Air: Rousing gig-ready shouter
• Ghost Notes: Chilled out, slow rocker

There are numerous outfits which ape Reggae styles, and usually they come off sounding a little too tongue in cheek even if the sentiment is genuine. This couldn’t be further from what John Brown’s Body achieve, seamlessly integrating a distinctive classic sound of reggae and creating a new kind of Reggae. Bass, Brass, Horns, off-beat guitar strikes, lucid and tuneful vocals, expert percussion. It’s all there. Turned on its head.

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Inspired by bands such as John Brown’s Body, 10 ft Ganja Plant, Fat Freddy’s Drop and others etc. Big fan of Reggae/Roots, Dub and such… not looking to copycat or recreate other’s sounds – want to branch out and create new music with solid reggae foundation.

Looking for musicians in Cardiff/South Wales area (or nearby) :

Vocalists (and/or) Singer/songwriter/guitarists
Drummer/percussionist
Bassist
Keys player
Brass (trumpet/trombone)

Get in touch if interested

My musical background

I played in a Heavy Rock band previously, and haven’t picked up the electric guitar since we fizzled out. I used to solely play classical too, and I got my Degree in Music, well it was more of a history degree overall with interesting interlude modules like electro-acoustic composition. I’m feeling the need to produce music again after various phases and Reggae is compositionally a good challenge and the bonus is I love making those grooves and vibes. I want to be able to utilise my PC as much with making a sound and recording it.

Ok, what do you mean by Reggae?

Roots/Rock/Reggae

I don’t know when it happened but since using Spotify I’ve branched out how much I listen to. Yeah, I always did like Bob, but I’ve expanded my uptake; I like Old School artists like The Abyssinians, Culture, The Heptones, The Gladiators, The Toots & the Maytals, Burning Spear and Max Romeo, and some Roots/dancehall artists from Jamaica like Alborosie, Capleton, Sizzla. It was the Dubs of Lee Scratch Perry and King Tubby which really opened my eyes to that stuff though.

Reggae/Funk/Future Roots

I’ve also started following the new breed of Reggae which has sparked from Ithaca NY, with bands such as John Brown’s Body, their counterpart outfit 10 ft Ganja Plant. Then there’s a wicked UK-based band, the BackBeat Sound System, which I’m following since seeing them live earlier this year. Plus, there’s a whole scene happening in New Zealand with bands like Fat Freddy’s Drop and The Black Seeds. So a Reggae revival is already happening.

It was mainly the second wave of interest in more contemporary Reggae has inspired me to want to pick up the guitar again and write music. In the past I had a reason for playing, but I never really felt as if I was doing it with any great purpose. I can’t say that I feel divinely inspired now, but since I enjoy reggae so much it seems reasonable that it’s what I’ll play on guitar mostly.

I want to create a fresh and contemporary reggae sound based on the rich musical delights of Reggae, Dub, Ska and Rocksteady. I’m living in South Wales (UK) and that’s where I’m going to try and start this band.

… and possibly other guitarists and songwriters too. I’m posting this up here since there seems to be no great rush of people interested on joinmyband.com, and I figure someone that interested in Reggae is going to find this post if they type “reggae band south wales” into google.

I’m not interested in mimicking any other band, but I want to get a group of dedicated reggae/dub/ska fans together to write great material. If that’s you, then feel free to give me a shout

It’s a funny one though, something that you take for granted and only realise the almost nonsensical meaning when you take the time to look. If I was feeling philosophical I would say it’s a creed for the way you should live your life. Get up, and make the world shine.

I’ve been trying to cast off the all too cynical observations I used to once make about the world, because although I didn’t think of myself as miserable or negative, it came to my attention over the course of the past 6-8 months that this is exactly how I came across when making those sorts of cynical jokes. Now, you can’t go around worrying too much what other people think, but like the phrase above intends, I’ve always aimed to bring good to the world and not to add to it’s negative. It seems to make sense actually; I love reggae music and its positive ‘irie’ vibes (thanks, Bob), I’ve taken up Tai Chi, which I’m realising is as much a spiritual practice as it is a martial art, and there are probably lots more other examples too.

One final observation, and much like anything that allows you to appreciate the moment, I’m looking at the glass as always being half full. It helps keep a positive spin on things and try and keep that old cynical self to the odd joke here and there. It’s the same with the phrase ‘rise and shine’ – no matter how bad a morning person you are there’s always room to turn it around and literally rise and shine. Your day can only get better if you do.

I really enjoyed the gig and was really keen on their style, which a nice synthy sound mixed in with live brass, and a strong riddim between the drums bass and rhythm guitar. They presented a really tight selection of tunes, and so much was I enamoured and inspired by their offering I bought the wonderfully named EP ‘Funky in the face of fear’ sometime that same weekend, from bandcamp. By all means don’t just take my word on it and go hear for yourself over at myspace or on their website or buy the EP on bandcamp. Aye.

Nevertheless,  the absence of posts on this blog indicate a period of time that ends the past few years in reference above; now part closed, a new phase already beginning.

Passive force

At times, learning we need to take action and forcibly remove ourselves from slumber leads us on dark journeys, to sometimes unwelcome places, from which we learn to find our way back to purposeful action. Dark nights of the soul are somewhat essential in this regard, since they clear the old and worn, almost spectacularly, to give way for the new.

What I’ve learned is that nothing itself is immutable; and all is subject to modulation, sometimes subtle, sometimes gross. Not least, the alchemical nature of perception. Holding too steadfast to what one thinks is foolish for this reason, because if you allow your past deliberations/thinking to lead your present self, you are already a relic. Certain things will not change for a long time, but at other certain junctions it is entirely necessary to destroy, forcibly, perceptions which were once set in stone; to break the edifice and allow reorganisation. The only error is in remaining immutable to difference, experience and ultimately, the unstoppable force of change itself.

Gaining ground

My Taiji teacher has spoken in classes of a certain Yin/Yang polarity which guides our work in the martial arts. Until very recently, I had not empirically verified this for myself but had instead used my left-brained logic-mind to arrive at an understanding of this commonly known concept. Very recently I came to understand what this concerns; The same forces, or ‘qualities of action’ if you prefer, cannot be used to counter the same force. The saying "you can’t fight fire with fire" is a good concept to summarise this.

Such phases of reconsideration and growth are not new to me, and maybe not to you. At times things reach a plateau, and we take time to consider our circumstances. Often phases of growth contradict as we find ourselves in the process of both change and quiescence at once, while we work through and re-assess old habits, interests, and personal goals, and readjust their hierarchy to allow for other new considerations to utilise our valuable time.

I should think I’ll have more to say on this and other subjects relating to this phase in due course. If I should not fall yet once again into writing atrophy at the benefit of another interest of mine.

One lesson I’ve firmly learned is that without fail I must use RAW mode than ever resort to using .JPG mode. Now, I’m not sure what the quality is like on DSLRs, but on the FujiFilm S9600 the compression is terribly noisy. It might sound like a n00b mistake, but there were a couple of reasons why I still shot in .JPG mode:
1. Memory space.
2. Uncertainty in handling the camera in various conditions

The second combined with the first meant that until recently, I got into the bad habit of shooting wildly. I’m sure you know what I mean by that statement, and it’s enough to say these days after a fair bit of reading and reflection that I need to give more consideration to the shot before I take it. That’s something that has only very recently changed, perhaps since summer. Even now when I’m shooting in RAW I usually use up the space pretty quick if I’m not careful, so I’ll be picking up extra memory soon. I’m also more comfortable using the RAW editor in Photoshop these days, and it can’t be denied that the options provided via this are huge compared to adjustment-layer editing in JPG mode.

So on to the shot itself, and with a little experimentation and thought I think I got something I’m happy with for now. I intentionally blurred an overlay of this image and reduced the opacity to bring up the blacks and give the image an idyllic glaze. There were a few other things I altered in several Adjustment Layers, such as bringing down the saturation somewhat, but the Gaussian blur is something I like to do to soften up the image if a high contrast is required.

This is one I’ll want to try nailing again, and I’m sure I will.

Ed’s dream was to live it out alone for 3 months and to try provide most of his sustenance from the land, and this is where circumstances became not a little precarious.

Alone in the Wild far exceeded my expectations of it being a typical ‘survival’ show. Ed was completely and utterly alone; switching his camera on periodically to record the highs and lows of life in the vast and empty Yukon, trying daily to source enough food to survive. After some success fishing, it was Porcupine that was next on the menu. It wasn’t much.

Able only to supplement his diet with some meager supplies he brought with him, his physical condition deteriorated sharply over the 7-or-so weeks. Eventually the hunger, and consequently the aloneness, started to grip him. Spending sleepless nights terrified by thoughts of wild bears entering camp couldn’t have helped much.

The reality is that being alone and having to fend for oneself is not something we are accustomed with. I suppose Ed isn’t alone in his dream to try living in the wild and provide sustenance off the land. Such a challenge would inevitably provide you with some understanding about what primeval man, or even early explorers, had to endure to survive.

In Isolation

In his own words, being alone in the wild meant:

“making decisions that would affect my safety, my wellbeing, and whether I’m going to make it though the next three months”

Luckily for Ed, he never did have the close encounter of an unwanted kind, that with a bear. However, I was inspired to see how well he dealt with the isolation despite there being many occasions where the emotion was overwhelming. By and large, Ed tried to retain a positive outlook on finding new sources of food and continuing the challenge. This became an increasing struggle highlighted in part of the documentary where the camera shows ‘BE STRONG’ written across his arm and hand, with Ed stating the phrase to the camera repeatedly.

One of the other highlights of this series was the unintended dark humor that came through in the coping mechanisms employed by Ed’s sub-conscious. ‘Hello Bears’ was one frequently used phrase which Ed spoke so as to ‘not surprise the bears (a piece of good advice, apparently).

He’s a braver man than I, that’s for sure, and he probably took one of the all time most extreme adventures one can still take on earth. But it pays to know your stuff, as we mere humans are not tuned to our real environment anymore. That much was clear.

Supplemental things

There is a twitter account which Ed used to get messages out while the whole adventure took place (just one-way, I should note) and these were cunningly used as sub-titles on the documentary film itself. Admittedly, I’m sorry I didn’t catch this on twitter as it was happening, but the account is still active (is it really Ed or Channel 4? Couldn’t say..). Incidentally I watched the documentary on the Channel 4 micro-site for Alone in the Wild, again having missed the entire series on TV itself. Furthermore, I bought the series pass on iTunes for a couple of bucks (<£5) so that I could watch it without the appalling pixelation on Channel 4’s site.

The following quote is from a recent article by John Pilger for UK newspaper The New Statesman, and the full article is a must-read wake up call.

More than MPs’ fake expenses, it is this corrupting and trivialising of life and death that mark a fitting end to the "modernised" Labour Party, the party of criminal war. Do the delegates preparing for the party’s annual rituals in Brighton comprehend this? It says enough that most Labour MPs never demanded a vote on Blair’s bloodshed in Iraq and gave him a standing ovation when he departed. One timid motion proposed by the "grass roots" at Brighton might be allowed. This concludes that "a majority of the public believe that the war [in Afghanistan] is unwinnable". There is no suggestion that it is wrong, immoral and based on lies similar to those that led to the extinction of a million Iraqis, "an episode more deadly than the Rwandan genocide", according to one scholarly estimate.

John Pilger’s documentary War on Democracy is also a fantastic piece of journalism that opens your eyes to how the world works at the highest level, and I would recommend renting it if not buying it outright. You can get it on amazon The War On Democracy [DVD] [2007]